When i was really depressed, did I permanently damaged my friendship?

I know what its like to be depressed, and trust me it is a painful, lonely road. And to a degree, this behavior is not your fault. I know especially when I was depressed, I acted completely different towards people even even when I didn't want to, or mean to. My best suggestions would be: see a psychologist, (if your depression is bad you should probably think about medication), definitely get medical help. If you dont want to talk to your parents, try talking to someone at school or seek medical help yourself When I used to be depressed I used to think I deserved it, and I was stuck in that zone. I used to feel like I never wanted to get better and I was always hopeless. I had horrible self esteem; never felt good enough for anything or anyone. I always felt like no one understood me and at times people would think I was faking. That pissed me off the most. The best way for you to get better, is to WANT help. That is the hardest part. For you to WANT to feel better. I used to cut myself, and do dangerous thing to self inflict harm on myself. Trust me this is not something you want to be feeling at all, or ever. I also used to have an eating disorder. Also I tried to commit suicide once.Trust me , I have been through at all.Right now you probably are feeling like its never going to get better, BELIEVE ME I have been there. I know what it feels like. And I probably already know all the things you are thinking right now or have thought. Now that I am better, I thank God that I am okay and I decided to want to live. It was a miracle I survived and I am lucky. You CAN be happy and you deserve to be happy.But the question is are you better enough now to tell them your sorry and repair your friendship with them? If they were ever really your friends, they would have never given up on you. Yet sometimes people are too stubborn to admit their faults. They were in the wrong too, but some people just don't know how to deal with depression. In fact one of my boyfriends dumped me because he was so overwhelmed he couldn't deal with it. I understand how your feeling. If your feeling better to contact them and you think its worth it to try and be friends again then do it. If you think its not worth it then don't do it. Just listen to your gut. It never fails you.